


When He Leaves

by cloudrains



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-24
Updated: 2014-04-24
Packaged: 2018-01-20 16:29:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1517393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudrains/pseuds/cloudrains
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A drabble from Sirius' perspective, written for the Marauder's Era Writing Challenge. The First Wizarding War is taking a toll on Remus and Sirius' relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When He Leaves

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure how this turned out, but here you go!

Remus smokes a lot of weed, and I drink. That’s always been true. These habits used to compliment each other, but like most vices in times of trouble, they have turned against us- he’s paranoid, even more that he should be, times as they are. He can’t seem to take anything seriously, not even his cycle, which is maddening and stressful. And me, I’m depressed, or I’m angry, and I can’t bring myself to look him in the eye.  
It’s four and I’ve managed not to drink today, as a promise to myself and James. Remus has not been so lucky, he’s asleep in bed in a haze of smoke, half a joint hanging out of his mouth and threatening to singe the sheets. I pick it up and examine it. He used to offer me a hit now and then, but I think he’s accepted that I don’t mix my pleasures. A few years ago, maybe, I would have stayed up with him and indulged his bizarre musings, but now they’ve gotten frightening and morbid. Last week he told me he was sure we were going to die young and I felt sick to my stomach, and snapped at him. I look down at him in our bed, and he opens his eyes.  
“Hey.” he groans slightly. “How long was I out?”  
“I’m not sure, when did you light this?” I hold out the joint and he chuckles, taking it from me, and looks around for his lighter.  
“Not long, then.” he says, and finds his lighter, and lights it again, sitting up and taking a hit. I don’t say anything, I just sit down on the edge of the bed and look at him, wondering for the hundredth time what has happened to us. He meets my gaze, his eyes fixing onto mine for a second, then he hurriedly looks away.  
“What?” he says, his voice taking on a hard edge.  
“I didn’t say anything.”  
“You’re staring at me again, Sirius.”  
“I’m just wondering what your plan is for the next moon-”  
“It’s covered, don’t worry about it.” he cuts me off. “You don’t have to watch over me, I’m an adult.” He seems ruffled, and gets off the bed, looking at his reflection in the mirror beside it. I wonder if he sees the lines in his face that I do, if he’s noticed the small grey hairs at his temple.  
“I’m just trying to help, you don’t have to be like that.” I say, my voice is steely and more cold than I intended it to be. He rolls his eyes and looks at me.  
“Like what, Sirius? I take control of my life for once, and you can’t handle it. You need me to need you. Well, guess what? I don’t.” he looks at me in loathing, and my breath shrinks back into my chest.  
“Don’t be an asshole.” I say, more hurt than I would admit.  
“I’m leaving.” he says calmly, and doesn’t look at me again. He doesn’t say when he’ll be back.


End file.
